Visual Art and the Natural Form……I bet I can make you look! Read my blog to find out about it.

When I was in university the absolute joy of my existence was my weekly 3 hour sculpture class, specifically sculpture 101. Some of the other students were engineers taking the class for an elective credit and of the students was even a retired inventor. They were all very competitive, sharp as knives and had the extra shop skills to execute the most elaborate sculptural ideas with smoke, lights, propane, welded joints, wood frames and panelling and moving parts. I couldn’t believe my luck; I got to hang out with these people and maybe learn from them. One of my classmates was an engineering student named Rob who really loved the element of surprise. At the end of each month we would present our projects based on an assigned sculptural concept. Rob kept his projects top secret until then, but he was coy and enjoyed dropping hints.

   “Hi Rob, how’s it going,” I asked

   “Oh good, good” Rob answered, “I just got back from Chilliwack. I was picking up some turkey feathers from the slaughterhouse. Good thing my roommate had a pick-up truck because I needed 25 bags.”

     He just hauled in 25 bags of Turkey feathers? What? My project seemed kind of lame compared to what he might be making. I begged him to tell me what he was doing. But also I was fishing to get the name of his roommate who owned a coveted pick-up truck.

     “No, no, “he said mysteriously, “Can’t say.”

      A few days later during a project update during class, Rob was looking a bit anxious.

      “Well,” he began, “I had to clean 25 bags of turkey feathers. They were really dirty so I decided to wash them in the washing machine. Then I put them in the dryer but it started a fire…..I think I can fix the wall before the landlord finds out….but there are feathers everywhere, the dryer is toast and my roommates are so mad at me. They had a vote last night while I was at school and they are giving me a week from Saturday to fix it or else.”

     That started a flurry of laughter, questions and condolences and one possible couch crashing arrangement. One of the engineers joked that he needed a roommate with a pick-up truck if they were parting ways! Everyone in sculpture 101 had a landlord and roommate story. I had melted the kitchen linoleum at my place by cleaning junk yard parts with acetone. I just threw a mat over it. I really didn’t feel that bad about it because the inside of the walls were an after-hours club for rats.

    The next week I spied Rob steam bending some cedar strips and it looked like he was making them into two sets of gigantic tear drop shapes. Someone else saw him reworking the leather straps of an old dog leash and harness. Someone else saw him leaving the sculpture graveyard behind the shop with a roll of chicken wire. What was he doing? Speculation swirled.

     Finally it was presentation day.  All of our projects were set up in the shop and ready for a critique and a grade. But where was Rob?

     The professor burst into the class laughing, shaking his head in his hands.

      “Is everyone here?” He breathed in as he wiped his eyes, “O.k. Rob?....... Please don’t hang around in the parking lot; you better get in here…like quick!”

     Rob inched into the shop sideways from the parking lot and turned forward to display the most glorious set of wings. They were snowy white and fifteen feet across and 8 feet tall! Hundreds of feathers attached to two cedar frames attached to leather harnesses around Rob’s shoulders, torso and thighs. His arms fit into leather straps on the inside of the wings to make them flap, and because they were fastened to giant piano hinges on his back, they did! But when you got past the amazing spectacle of the wings you noticed one thing, Rob was completely naked!

     “Oh my God!” exclaimed the retired inventor as he shielded his eyes.

     “I made the leather harness too small and my clothes wouldn’t fit underneath and it was too late to fix-it.” explained Rob, “I can hardly breathe! This project has been a disaster. I didn't have time to motorize the wings and I might even be homeless in a couple of days.”

     We were all in stitches and could hardly continue. We all agreed that Rob should definitely get an automatic pass to sculpture 201, free accommodation in the sculpture graveyard and maybe even get a trip to Mexico for his dedication. The inventor passed around his hat and we all pretended to put invisible money in it as Rob tried to explain his project. Someone threw Rob a roll of shop towels and he quickly fashioned a skirt with a strip of blue towels and duct tape and the class carried on. Dan, who was one of the engineers in the class, commented that he couldn’t wait to tell his calculus class…apparently our class was a hot topic in his class. They always asked about us.

      If you were interested in Visual Art but couldn’t handle natural form you might as well have headed straight to the Math Department. The natural form was everywhere. It was in our projects, in our Art History classes and in our drawing and painting classes. We drew live nude models frequently. Some of the models had a professional sideline working for the Fine Art Department. It was a great way to make extra money. No one cared.

     Some models would show up on a dare. We had a male nurse show up under pressure from his girlfriend.

     “She dared me to do it. It is a requirement for our engagement.” He said nervously.

     Oh, man! Poor guy! When he realised we didn’t care and he was exactly the same as a cold chicken leg on a plate he got into it. The Winter Olympics was on and so he thought up a series of hilarious Olympic poses for us and had a good time. We showed him our drawings after so that he knew it was just art and nothing creepy. He took one home to give to his girlfriend.

     I don’t know why people get into such a flap over the natural form in art; I mean we see it every day. There was public outrage in Vernon, BC a few years ago when a natural form

sculpture of a man holding a suitcase was placed in front of one of their public buildings. Someone showed up at night and sawed off the offending appendage which did not improve the sculpture at all.

     I have to make a reel to go with this essay but I am not sure how to present it. It’s time to get creative because my learned high tolerance for the natural form probably isn’t going to fly on FB and doesn’t exist anywhere outside of art school.